Posted by: Eating The Road | November 30, 2009

Where Should I Eat? Chain Restaurant Edition (Flowchart)

So you’re heading down the interstate with a car full of hungry bellies and the endless neon lights of dozens of eateries are setting your retinas ablaze. Where do you stop to satiate the beast within? You no longer have to leave it up to your tired exhausted brain…with this helpful chart we’ll get you to the right calorie laden table in no time. Now the only decision you’ll need to make is whether or not to get the chocolate lava cake à la mode or not, but we know the answer to that America…don’t we?

Head over to Top Cultured to see the Chain Restaurant Flowchart, be sure to see our other flowcharts as well:

Fast Food
Freezer Aisle
Produce Aisle



  1. Is there any town in the world where all these exist?

    • Dallas

      • Really? Not to be picky…but I thought they closed the hard rock.

  2. прикольная тема у вас тут)) жалко не на русском конечно.

  3. So how do you get to the French Laundry?

    • If you reject all of your choices, it is the only thing remaining. Also, you can eat something at every other restaurant on the list for the same price as dinner at the French Laundry. (OK, maaaybe not every other place, but $240 for dinner!)

  4. Nice touch – the French Laundry w/ no connectors

  5. That is one detailed map. I’ll have to try it next time I’m out. Thanks for the post!


  6. Nice chart. I haven’t heard of all those restaurants.

    Since you’re using WPTouch, feel free to add your site. I’m trying to set up a good site for mobile users to use to find mobile-friendly blogs and such.


  7. I love how the chart title is white text on a background of light green striped with even lighter green. Very readable.

  8. Hey nice post

  9. Nice chart! I’ll have to try it next time, thank you for the post! 😀

    • Let us know how it works out!

  10. My family eats at Souplantation/Sweet Tomatoes all the time. Since it’s not on the chart, I conclude that either (a) our dinners out don’t exist, or (b) we’ve actually been eating at the French Laundry all this time.

  11. Hilarious but ultimately depressing–for examplewho *likes* seafood and eats at Red Lobster? I guess you couldn’t actually pay me to eat at most of these places unless a) I’m stuck driving on some horrible highway with no time to get off and get into a town, or b) I’m in a really terrible airport with nothing other than one of these chains and some old hot dogs or soggy salads. It’s not that I’ll only eat at fancy restaurants or only eat health food–even a local sandwich place is fine, but I just can’t stand overprocessed Sysco garbage. It all tastes the same. Hey, someone should color-code these by which companies own them…

  12. Bennigan’s has gone out of business.

  13. it’s amazing work,
    showing options for most of us


  14. Nice flowchart, but I thought Chili’s stopped serving the Awesome Blossom…?

  15. This is epic win! thank you for making my food choices easier

  16. Love this, laughed out loud at the “Are you high” tab.

  17. nice post

  18. I like this alot! You’ll like my blog too: :))

  19. Grab this Headline Animator

  20. Love the chart!

    So England has one chain restaurant? That’s kind of sad…or maybe not so sad at all…

  21. Isn’t it *more* than a little scary that so many towns in America have so many of these homogenized “everything-looks-just-the-same” chain restaurants?

    One option on the flow chart should be, “The local greasy spoon,” or maybe “the local quirky diner” because I bet I’m not the only one who prefers local eateries over franchise restaurants any day of the week.

  22. Do you want to eat a cake before you die?

  23. This is hilarious!

  24. this is really cool. i plan to customise one for my own country. how long did you spend on creating the flowchart? =D

    be sure to drop by my blog and give me your comments!


  25. Yes, yes, and yes. I agree with this whole chart hahaha

  26. Chart made sense right up to the point where I realized that you had CPK but not IN’N’Out burger.. which means that (a) you are aware of options and CA and (b) that you either chose to ignore INNOut or did not know about it – > Chart FAIL!!!!!

  27. This is a fantastic flow chart!

    ~ C.H.
    Music news, artist reviews, and upcoming songs at the new Decibel Blog.

  28. This is funny:
    Are you obese? ->Do you want to remain so?->golden corral

    mmmm, all you can eat fried chicken, big yeast rolls and cheese cake dessert, heaven on earth.

  29. This is a cool flow chart, funny as well as semi-helpful. 🙂

  30. Wow! That was a lot of work, eh? Why don’t we all just stay home and eat and save some moolah?

  31. I found this chart useful, thank-you

  32. Good ‘ol American Intuition at work… I like it!

  33. LMAO, this is great. you missed “waffle house” for ” are you drunk”. that is a great place after a night of drinking.
    not a chain but if you are ever in charleston, SC you should try this place.


  34. Definitely a great read, flowchart was too cool, very good reviews. Keep up the great job!

  35. hmm.!!! it’s perfect.. thanks.. 🙂

  36. Awesome chart, should be in every guidebook to USA eating.

  37. Wait… who would go to Denny’s when they _aren’t_ drunk?

  38. they should make an iphone app for this…

  39. i’m in england so i have to go to wagamama 😀 but i don’t like sitting with everyone else!

  40. Like the restaruant flowcharts. Parts of them had me ROTFLMAO!

  41. Cracker barrel and Waffle house should have included some sort of “are you below the mason dixon line?” qualifier.

  42. Wow! Can’t believe someone had the patience to put the flowchart together.
    I couldn’t find Hooters in there, that’s bad 😦

  43. Yeahhhh….I just had some Old Country Buffet the other day and I love Golden Corral those are to of my favorites.

  44. Very informative post, I’ll share this with my students. Try the Panda Buffet…it’s great !!

  45. Николай Басков нашел себе новую возлюбленную?! Подробности только у нас

  46. LOL. Kick ass chart.

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